Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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