If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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