The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
