He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Houston, we have a squirter
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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