I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
