Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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