also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
