I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
