I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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