I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
