Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
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