And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
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My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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