just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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