How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
