I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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