Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
