So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
