thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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