I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It's Friday. Sex?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
