Tell her she can't have a vagina
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
