walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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