just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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