Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
