Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
