i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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