i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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