are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
