I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
