Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
