i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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