I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
