Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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