Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
