3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
