Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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