how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
