afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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