Have some text gold?

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  • Better than being a guy and having to take a hand off the wheel to jack off. Even more so when you're using your other hand to text your friend to tell them you're jacking off while driving.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 1:07pm
  • ^^^ Haha, I know right. He's still a doucher though.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 4:28pm
  • The Rumble Strips would be a great name for a band.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 12:55pm
  • I just went from six to midnight!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 1:19pm
  • 313, it's "who's in my mouth," Dane Cook fail...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 11:06pm
  • yall are lame as shit. and what the fuck is lulz. that's not even a fucking accronym. shut the fuck up.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 20, 09 at 3:08am
  • 1:27 - you fail. 1:24 was mildly amusing, like someone with a touch of the down's who licks bus windows and wears a crash helmet. You, on the other hand, fail. Fail tard fails.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 2:05pm
  • I bet you were thinking of your Father when you kept going over those bumps.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 4:22pm
  • only in the 518 would this happen...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 20, 09 at 12:45am
  • can i just say, 'asstard' is my favorite word EVER. and it's all thanks to you, asstard CEO and any other lowly asstard employees

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 8:49pm
  • To 1:07, not unless you have the app on the iphone ;)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 3:26pm
  • 2:05--go fuck yourself and die u stupid fucking bastard.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 20, 09 at 2:31am
  • Why is it you can say go kill yourself you fucking cunt faced bitch, but you can't say fäggot?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 2:24pm
  • happened to me once while i was playing my wii kept doing things in the game that made the wiimote vibrate. most boring afternoon ever.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 1:50pm
  • But I am the asstard president.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 10:12pm
  • The rumble strips are the things on the side of the thruway that are suppost to wake you up right?

    Submitted by MikeBunz on Nov 9, 11 at 6:08am
  • You play "What's in My Mouth?" with elementary-school AIDS patients.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 3:13pm
  • you know... even though the 518 is a big area. one can't help but wonder if you know the person putting the texts up...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 1:29pm
  • @ 12:57, the fact that someone on here knows who the rumble strips are makes my heart melt! I'm seeing them this weekend wowowowowo!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 6:10pm
  • UNKNOWN ERROR IS EVIL

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 4:22pm
  • no but yo momma gve him a blumpkin

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 2:35pm
  • And you enjoy being repeatedly bent over a barrel by a shipfull of Filipino sailors jacked up on black tar heroin. But do we point out your faults? Nooo...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 2:47pm
  • there is aband called the rumble strips, they're crap though, love the idea of you being THAT horny!!!!!!xx

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 29, 09 at 11:35am
  • Everyone on here is an asstard, except me. I'm just a regular retard.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 2:42pm
  • apparently 2:25 joins the asstard club too

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 2:28pm
  • maybe i did, better than you with poop in yo yeasty boston clam baker monkeynuts

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 2:40pm
  • Neither of you know who I am hahaha!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 8:04pm
  • I can totally imagine that capslock typer as a totally crazy dude laughing maniacally whilst typing his LOL messages...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 4:24pm
  • Lol... Albany girls don't get enough..

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 1:42pm
  • 1:13 Needs to find Jesus!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 1:19pm
  • 2:05, u should've been swallowed.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 20, 09 at 2:31am
  • some of you people should have been a wank.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 24, 09 at 8:52am
  • I wish guys could get off that way...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 3:06pm
  • LOL LOL LOL!!1 SHE'S GIVING ME GOOD VIBRATIONS!!! SHE-BOP!!! LOL LOL LOL!!1

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 12:50pm
  • Upstate. My home.

    Submitted by motorteeth on Jun 26, 11 at 8:24am
  • it'd be a better half hour with me

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 12:50pm
  • LOL LOL LOL!!1 I DID FIND JESUS, I WALKED IN ON HIM POKING YOU IN THE BROWNER!!! HOLY HERPES STILL HURTS, DOESN'T IT??!? LUUULZ CALL IT STI OR STD, IT STILL GETS YOU IN THE END LUUULZ!!! LOL LOL LOL!!1

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 1:24pm
  • LOL LOL LOL!!1 ALL THIS FIGHTING OVER LIL OL ME!!! I'M PROUD OF YOU ALL!!! YOU KEPT YOUR HEAD ON A SWIVEL, AND THAT'S WHAT YOU GOTTA DO WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A VICIOUS COCKFIGHT OF ILL-PLANNED INSULTS AND GRADE SCHOOL TACTICS ON TFLN!!! LUUULZ THE LOLRGATOR WILL RISE AGAIN!!! LOL LOL LOL!!1

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 3:46pm
  • LOL LOL LOL!!1 "I'MMM THE MUSIC LYRIC KILLJOY AND I END ALL FUN WITH MY PISSY PANTS BULLSHIT!!!" GO DANCE ON A LAND MINE, YOU ASS CLOWN!!! THE LOLRGATOR STRIKES AGAIN!!! LOL LOL LOL MOTHAFUCKA!!1

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 19, 09 at 1:13pm