so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize