I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
