she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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