if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
