No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
