You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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