i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
