I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
