I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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