Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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