i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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