Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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