So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I would fuck him just for his dog
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize