Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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