i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
