Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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