Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
