okay pat passed out under dana's car
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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