can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize