after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i think i scared a bird with my dick
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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