why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
