hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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