didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
