What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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