A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No subtext here. People are naked.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
