I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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